Mother healing from miscarriage: “There is hope after this heartbreak”

Parents are using social media in a powerful way to share their grief after miscarriage.  The medical community estimates that one in four pregnancies results in a miscarriage.  Even though the tragedy of miscarriage is so common, grieving parents sometimes don’t know how to talk about their loss or feel the subject is taboo.  The mothers and fathers brave enough to share their grief on social media are providing a powerful voice for all those silently grieving.

Emily, who lost a child to miscarriage, writes,

I remember being afraid to cry. I didn’t feel as if I deserved to cry because “I wasn’t that far along,” and “this happens all the time.”  I remember holding back the tears with every ounce of my being and not being able to look my husband in the face because I knew his pain would break me.

This brave mother bears her heart to the world on social media in order to help other understand the grief of losing a child through miscarriage.  Thankfully, Emily did have a compassionate doctor who assured her she could cry and grieve the loss of her child.  Sadly, many parents are still faced with the thoughtless response by medical professionals that to “just try again.”  Emily’s doctor had the compassion to acknowledge her individual loss.

Even so, Emily writes that she felt alone in her experience.  She says,

It wasn’t until I started talking about it to my friends and family that I slowly realized I wasn’t alone. That my mom, my aunt, my sister, my sisters best friend all have experienced this heartbreak and pain, a heartbreak and pain I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

People may wonder why I choose to talk about this after months have passed, but it’s the harsh reality that time really doesn’t heal all wounds so I am hoping sharing my story will help with the healing process. I am not looking for pity and I am not looking for answers. I am sharing this so that maybe one less woman will feel alone and use this as a reminder or message that there is hope after this heartbreak. 

Emily’s story and the stories of countless grieving parents matter to all of us.  Certainly, the stories are important to other parents.  Increasingly, parents who have lost children are connecting online through groups like miscarriage matters.  Giving people encouragement to be open about their loss, as Emily does, helps remind families that they are not alone.

Emily’s story also matters to people who have not been personally touched by the loss.  We all must ask what kind of society we want to be.  Are we a society in which parents who have lost a child know they are right to grieve?  Or are we a society that continues the lie that a preborn child is less than human?  The abortion industry has warped the way we view the preborn child.  The anti-Life lobby’s efforts to “normalize” abortion by dehumanizing the preborn imply that parents don’t have permission to grieve.

The Pro-Life movement can affirm the dignity of the preborn through the compassion we show in the face of the tragedy of miscarriage.  Texas Right to Life extends our heartfelt prayers  to those who have experienced the loss of miscarriage.  For more resources, visit MyMiscarriageMatters.com.