BEAUTIFUL: Birthmother meets her twin sons hours before her death: “I always loved you”

A recent story posted on the Humans of New York Facebook page showcases the beauty of adoption.  The heroic choice to place a child with an adoptive family has lifelong repercussions for the birthmother and her family and the adoptive family and the generations to come.  The recent story of a birthmother reunited with her twin sons demonstrates that connectedness and beauty powerfully.

The story was shared by the daughter of the birthmother.  Names of the family members were not used in the story.  At a young age the daughter saw that her mother had two additional stones in her wedding ring.  When the daughter asked her mother about them, her mother openly shared that they signified the twin boys she placed for adoption.  The daughter wrote, “She told me that she’d given birth to them when she was 22, but was unable to care for them.  So she gave them up to another family.”

The adoption was a closed adoption, meaning the birthmother did not maintain contact with the boys as they were growing up.  She always wanted to respect that boundary and never tried to contact the adoptive family.  However, the adoptive mother took the initiative to send photos of the boys as they were growing up.  When the daughter saw the pictures, she said, “I could see the resemblance, which piqued my curiosity even more.”  Her mother insisted that they not try to contact the family.  Her daughter says that her mother would always say, “‘I’d love to meet them.  And I know you would too.  But that will have to be their decision.’” 

Years later, the birthmother was stricken with cancer and nearing the end of her life.  The family received a letter from the adoptive mother in which she shared, “‘I wanted to thank you for the blessing you’ve given me.  I couldn’t have kids.  And you gave me two.’”  The daughter writes, “My mom was very moved, but she still discouraged me from reaching out.  ‘It’s not our place,’ she said.”

As her mother’s cancer took a turn for the worse, the daughter decided she would go against her mother’s wishes because she thought her half-brothers deserved the opportunity to meet their birthmother.  She was able to find them through Facebook and contacted them with information about her mother’s health.

The daughter says, “Their response was immediate.  A few days later they were on a plane.  We met in the hospice parking lot, and it was super awkward for two minutes.  But then it wasn’t.”  The twins had come with their adoptive mother, who was supportive of their meeting their birthmother.  Fortunately, on the morning the twins arrived for their visit, their birthmother was awake and fully cognizant.

Her daughter says, “She noticed them immediately.  She said: ‘Oh my God, my boys.’  Each of them took one of her hands.  She told them: ‘I always thought about you.  And I always loved you.  I just wanted the best for you.’”  Reassuring their birthmother, the twins told her, “‘We know that.  And we’ve always known that.’”  After that beautiful meeting decades in the making, their mother passed away peacefully that night.

The abortion industry has cultivated the myth that abortion is the easy way out of a crisis pregnancy and that placing a child in an adoptive family will lead to a lifetime of regret.  The reverse is often true.  Ending the life of a preborn child through abortion often leads to grief, pain, and regret that can haunt mothers for a lifetime.  The selfless sacrifice of adoption leaves a legacy of love for the birthmother and the children she bore.

This beautiful experience was shared by many of the people who commented on the Humans of New York post.  One woman wrote, “As an adoptive mom, I want this for my kids.  I hope and pray that they get this opportunity to meet their birth families before it’s too late.”  Another said, “I adopted two beautiful children.  I have always been in awe of the pure love and sacrifice of their birth mothers and have shared that with them always.  If they ever get the opportunity to meet them, I will be all for it.” One birthmother shared her experience after reading the story, saying, “I’m crying.  I hope my boy finds me one day.  I don’t want to over step either.  But I feel the same.  I love him and I always think about him.  I just wanted him to have a good life.”  Although the abortion industry wants mothers to believe that abortion is “loving,” abortion is the death of hope.  In difficult circumstances, adoption can be a path of life and hope for all involved.



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